Deleted a post. Gone.

Im fustrated.

For once, look at what you and I have done.
Yes I have wronged.

But seriously. Let me cut it all down to a short summary.

Those "torturous" months?
Ive been up with you. Those late, sleepless nights. I didn't mind.
In fact, I was happy to be clearing your worries, doubts.
I assured you the same thing over and over again. I just wanted to assure you, make you see.
Everyday, I asked you, "Hey, talk to me. Make me understand. I am worried."
You said nothing. Or? Dont want to tell me.

Then months later? "I feel distant from you." Ouch. Right straight in the heart.

You keep portraying it as though I didnt give a damn bout you.
Please, get it right.

I am sorry for being busy with my work and not as free as one would enjoy.
But still. I have been doing whatever I can.
That I assure you.

Talk to me. You talk to the world. Not a word to me.
Why? Cause they don't argue.
Of course they won't. No one would know whats going on unless they either have both sides of the story or just, one of us.


What is the definition of arguing.
Arguing is NOT trying to clarify what is the truth and what is the factual thing that is going on.

For example.
"You killed someone."
"No, I did not."

Thats NOT arguing. Its clarifying.

Im frustrated that our whole relationship is going down based on this redundant subject.

What would you prefer, lies?
I am sorry but I can't.

And another thing which I would loveee so very much to speak of right now. But I am holding it in. Not here. Not now.
No more lies. Please.

My head hurts like hell lots and bout to leave for dinner.

Honestly, do I even mean anything to you?

If you keep seeing the worst in me when I honestly being concerned. I really dont know what to do. What to say to even make you believe me.

If you are thinking in your head at this very moment,
"This is YOUR fault."

Listen to me. At least I make up for them. Stand for what I say and honestly, being who I am. I'm too soft towards you.

I am frustrated that you appear so unhappy to every single person when I am telling everyone how happy I am with you.
No wait, LISTEN.
Frustrated that you were once so worried I would talk to the world and not you.
Frustrated that you are upset, choose not to talk to me no matter how much I ask and eventually turn around and blame me for not caring.

Please. Look whos doing what now.

I'm here wondering.

I am confident in this relationship.
I do want to work it out.
I do want to clear all your doubts and misunderstandings.
I do want to always hear you out and listen to all you have to say.
I want to sit right next to you and hold you within my arms, kiss you and whisper all the things I love about you.
I do want to tell the whole world I am in love with you. 

I love you for who you are. Both the bad and the awesome.

You and I have changed. So much.

Do I honestly mean anything to you?
 Recalling the words, not from months or years back, the words you said.
Just recalling the words you said a few days, be it 3 days.
I may be assuming but my assumption is, I don't mean much to you.

If I am wrong, correct me.

I want to put in all my efforts knowing the person appreciates it and wants to work with me to achieve the best of results. I want to work with YOU.

Right now its up to you, YOUR choice. if you want it as much as I want it to.
Cause it takes two hands to clap.
You and I. No one else. For us to make a result.
Reach the day we have been been hungering so badly for.

No more lies. No more hurt. Just trust and assurance.

Just seeing you before me, makes my heart melt. My frustrations melts away.
What is this. What sorcery is this.

I love this girl too much.

Leaving soon. Going to take a panadol and go.
Peace.