My head hurts, My heart hurts, Dead tired. So much work, fear.
Yet still forcing myself awake to watch a movie, opened and already loaded.

Forget it. Close it all, close your eyes.

I love you too much till my heart aches.
I love you till I wake up everyday thinking bout how much I need to accomplish for you.
I love you till the extent I would do anything, make whatever arrangements just to see you.
I love you till the extent your name is spoken in every conversation I have with the people I know. People I don’t even know, know how much you mean to me.
How much I smile at the mention of your name.

“Do you honestly think you have a future with this girl?”

“Yes, I do.”
“When you were younger, do you remember when you said you would always end up marrying a guy?”

“Yeah. So? Im happy with her, and she and I are always talking about houses and sleeping late nights while watching movies in our own home. Just her and I. I miss her so..”

Now, I’m thinking.

The words you say and said.

Don’t know who I am to you?
Don’t know why you are in this god forsaken relationship?
Tell you its your choice whenever YOU ask me if I want to break up?
Tell me you feel angry and annoyed looking at my face?
Constantly wondering if I love you despite me crying right before you?
Me giving in yet you can end the night screaming at me and saying such fucking hurtful words no one would ever hear?
Me constantly trying to accept and move on yet you constantly comparing and reminding me?
And every time after the most hurtful of fights, you say one sorry, sometimes even more genuinely and my heart turns soft for you and I forgive you immediately.

Inferiority complex? All those curses?
Want me to memorize it like a biblical verse?

I will. Thank you.

Thank you for all you’ve given me. Want to leave, walk out.
Awww. Your sweetheart calling? And another truth, you’ve been hiding from me? Then replied, pick up. Don’t even call me back. Don’t you ever tell you love me, or the slightest bit, tell me you’ve ever believed a word I said.

Changed, shaped, moved on, learn to accept, carry these burdens with you with not a complain in the world.

Yet you turn around and just remain ungrateful and bring yourself to say hurtful words back at me.

You are one of a hell amazing girl.
Look, theres a whole line waiting for you.
Perhaps I don’t deserve to be with thy highness.
They are calling, can’t you hear them?
Screaming words of loyalty, promises, marriage, happiness.
You turn and scream at them to go away,
At night when we lay next to one another,
 You speak only words of love to me, and only me.
Yet when the clock strikes midnight,
You look at me with dark eyes and speak of others.
What sorcery is this I ask.

I may be a person of a great inferior problem.
But I am a person who mean my words and stand for what I believe.
Don't believe? It is YOUR choice, not mine to feed you and elixir and eventually have your brainwashed to the ways I want it to be.